For almost a decade,
I wrote daily.

A year ago,
I started writing more sporadically.

Months ago,
I stopped writing altogether.

This trend didn’t reflect
A disinterest
Or…

A change of priorities.

It reflected a series of questions
I had begun asking myself.

Like…

Why is true, long lasting internal change
(That ultimately leads to external shifts)
So difficult to make?

Change is a constant.
Simply look around.

Seasons change.
Children grow.
Days & years pass.

So then…

Why is it we tend to repeat
The same habits, behaviors, activities & thoughts
Day after day?

What happens to ultimately make us
So stuck in our ways?

And…

What would happen…
Who might we be…
What might our lives become…

If we allowed that to change?

I’ve always done a lot of research.

One of my passions –
To learn.

A couple of months ago,
Right before I stopped writing
I started new research into
The neuroscience of change,

Which (besides other things)
Explains how change requires
Rewiring the brain.

As I sometimes do,
I became consumed.

I felt a resonance with the information & findings.

I knew I had stumbled onto an important truth.

Have you ever felt like something is missing?

Like you are missing some important component?

Something (that if known)
Would clearly & fully explain something else?

I’d always felt that way
With all the knowledge I’d accumulated.

All the personal development & self improvement
Stuff I’d read over the years…

Some key component was missing.

In the past few months,
With what I’ve learned…

Everything has clicked into place.

Now, let’s go back further…
A year or so.

Last year I realized that
This has been my life’s work.

This studying, learning, research & experimentation
Is my passion.

I’ve devoted 25 years of my life to it.
And…
I’ll continue on.

I’ve amassed notes, insights, information…

For what?

If I died tomorrow,
Most of it would be lost.

If I could find a way
To put it out into the world,

If it could potentially help one person…

It’d be worth it.

So, that’s what I should do.

But there is so much information out there.

Still people struggle
To do the things that would really help
Themselves, their health, their relationships & their lives.

I didn’t want to regurgitate information –
Even if in my own words.

Besides…

How can you really help someone
If you haven’t fully achieved
The things you desire?

From your eyes,
You may now think I’ve diverged.

From mine,
I’m right on track.

All of these thoughts
Melded together to create
A soup in my mind.

Until a few days ago,
I hadn’t gotten the recipe right.

Now…
I believe I have.

I know what was missing before.

For the first time ever,
It all makes sense.

In the months to come,
As I continue to clarify my thoughts
And find the right words

I’ll be explaining it.

Sharing what I’ve realized & learned.

And, the effect it’s had on my life.

I’m happier, more relaxed, more productive
And more joyful
Than I’ve ever been before.

Regardless of the conditions around me
(Which are far from perfect)
I feel no struggle or strife.

I’ve found a new, improved, updated way
To live my life.

 
christie on Twitter
christie
Learning obsessed. Growth focused. Wisdom seeking. Recovering perfectionist. In eternal struggle to tame obsessive compulsive tendencies.

Also blogging about self care at xtremeselfcare.com

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