My habits are my strength.

My habits are my weakness.

Not just because
I have good habits.
I have bad habits.

Habits, by their nature, trigger a complusory need to do them.

Even the best habit,
Done at the wrong time,
Becomes a bad habit.

An example…

I have a habit of exercising
Monday through Saturday.

A good habit, right?

For over a week, I’ve been sick.

When it fully hit me,
Even in my fevered delirium,
I knew exercise was out of the question.

Days passed.
My fever broke.

The compulsion set in.

I’d go to bed telling myself,
“Tomorrow I’ll go back to exercise class.”

I’d wake. Get up. Then, think…

Okay.
I’m not feeling well.
I should go to exercise class.

Then, after a moment,
I’d have to stop & correct myself.

Yes. Exercise is good.
It’s a healthy, positive habit to have.

But with my body weak & struggling to heal
Exercise could actually be the worst thing for it.

The interesting thing is…

Part of me knows I should not exercise right now.

Another part tells me
I need to.

I need to because it’s my habit.
It’s what I do.

It’s easy to look at habits (actually everything) as black & white.
Good or bad.

When, in fact, the true value or harm can only be determined in context.

Unfortunately, once a habit is formed,
We often become blind to the subtitles of the situation

Failing to realize that for everything,
There is a time.

And…
Some things shouldn’t be done
If the time is not right –

Or, the situation not correct.

As much as my mind what’s to make blanket decisions
And follow them through,

Deep down I know,
Doing so is never best.

 

 

 

 

christie on Twitter
christie
Learning obsessed. Growth focused. Wisdom seeking. Recovering perfectionist. In eternal struggle to tame obsessive compulsive tendencies.

Also blogging about self care at xtremeselfcare.com

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