Even though counter to almost everything about me,
I watch horror movies.
I have since I was a child.
Why I enjoyed them so much then,
I cannot tell you.
Why I watch them now,
They are very predictable.
Even in their unpredictability,
They remain so.
There’s something soothing about knowing what’s going to happen.
Maybe not all the details,
But the overall result.
Even though the movies are farfetched
Sometimes perverted & disturbed forms of fiction
They too often mirror human nature.
Our tendency not to think.
To take action counter to what our instincts say.
I mean really…
Who’s chased by a crazed killer
And drops their weapon to run?
Why do people always run upstairs
Instead of out?
Or, hear a disturbing noise or intruder
And take it upon themselves to check it out?
In each movie (no matter the subgenre or storyline)
It’s very clear
At which point(s) the characters make bad, life altering choices.
You watch it
(And as in some of the examples mentioned above)
Know the exact moment when
Things are about to take a downward turn.
The irony of my horror movie watching is –
1. I don’t like to be scared.
2. I don’t like watching violence.
Which is why I watch it solely at home
Usually with the volume muted
And, often with my eyes closed.
It makes me wonder
If I were able to look back
Or see my present moment actions
As if on screen
Would those same trajectory changing moments
Been so easily seen?