Some personal challenges are universal.
Others more individual. Based off our habits, patterns & beliefs.
I struggle with a very basic question –
What do I want to do?
For many people, this answer is always clear. A loud voice in their head.
For me… The voice muted. When I listen, sound not there.
I drown myself in
“I need to”
“I have to”
From morning to eve.
Any attempt to quiet the thoughts failing.
Those rare moments when I do, a heaviness weighs me down reminding me that while not conscious, they are still there.
I live under their thumb.
I cannot break free.
To do so, would be foreign to me.
Still… This is my aim.
What I hope to achieve.
To find the part of myself buried under layers of personal & societal expectations, commitments & goals.
To see if all were stripped away,
What would I want?