Some personal challenges are universal.
Others more individual. Based off our habits, patterns & beliefs.

I struggle with a very basic question –

What do I want to do?

For many people, this answer is always clear. A loud voice in their head.

For me… The voice muted. When I listen, sound not there.

I drown myself in
“I need to”
“I have to”
“I should”
From morning to eve.

Any attempt to quiet the thoughts failing.

Those rare moments when I do, a heaviness weighs me down reminding me that while not conscious, they are still there.

I live under their thumb.

I cannot break free.

To do so, would be foreign to me.

Still… This is my aim.
What I hope to achieve.

To find the part of myself buried under layers of personal & societal expectations, commitments & goals.

To see if all were stripped away,

What would I want?





christie on Twitter
Learning obsessed. Growth focused. Wisdom seeking. Recovering perfectionist. In eternal struggle to tame obsessive compulsive tendencies.

Also blogging about self care at

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