Feedback in life is important.

Perhaps more so, the ability to sensibly & reliably determine what your current feedback means.

An example:

According to many self help gurus & books, if we are tuned into our “big why” and on the right personal track,

Excitement & energy naturally flow.

Take Tony Robbins. (Haven’t heard of him? Google him.)

His main superpower is getting people excited, energized & motivated. So, they feel not only can they accomplish their goals –

They can accomplish anything!

The picture he paints – of him springing out of bed every morning from sheer excitement to be alive.

Gulping down his water. (To hydrate.)

Running in circles. (Ok. He uses a rebounder. But for all I know he runs in circles too.)

Then… Submerging himself in freezing water to give his system a healthy little jolt.

(For the record, if I tried this my joints would lock up. Someone would likely have to call the paramedics to drag me out. And, I’d certainly end up with a cold.)

He’s “jazzed” and “pumped” about things.

I’m not jazzed or pumped about anything.

What does that mean?

Am I depressed?
Dislike my life?
Hate what I do?
Have no motivation or passion?
Am I on the wrong track?

Because clearly if I was happy, loved my life, enjoyed what I do, was filled with passion & motivation and was on the right track,

I’d be so energized & excited, I’d fly out of bed. “On fire.” Ready to charge forward & conquer my day.

For a good 15 years, I’ve tried to get to this point.

I’ve failed every single day.

What is this telling me?

That passion, excitement & drive are missing from my life?

For a long time, I thought that was true.

That because I wasn’t living up to this/his standard, something must clearly be wrong with me.

I know realize I was using an unrealistic standard by which to measure myself by.

The fact that I linger in bed after waking…
Allow my passion to burn quiet…

Doesn’t mean something’s wrong with me. Or, that I’m missing some important, fundamental part of life.

My energy is calm, grounded & focused.

I move slowly through my days – because doing so is the only way I remain present, aware & sane.

All of this… These years feeling like I’m somehow failing by not meeting someone else’s standard have taught me

That the feedback we get in terms of results does not always mean what we think.

If we don’t decipher it correctly, we risk doing more harm to ourselves than good.

So, next time you try to hold yourself up to a standard (someone else’s or your own)… Or, feel down because the end result is not what you want… Take into account the meaning or underlying reason may be something other than you think.

And, only by exploration (within & without) accompanied by self awareness & a bold degree of self honesty will you ever have a chance of understanding what something means to & for you.

And, whatever the answer is… Own it.

Because it’s part of what makes you you!





christie on Twitter
Learning obsessed. Growth focused. Wisdom seeking. Recovering perfectionist. In eternal struggle to tame obsessive compulsive tendencies.

Also blogging about self care at

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