I wake, my cells exhausted to the bone. My body frozen in space. I turn my head slightly glancing out the windows that create one wall of the room. Dark. Rainy. No motivation found to move.

I spent the weekend at a workshop, “Design Your Powerful Life.” Funny because after 2 days of daydreaming, visualizing, planning, narrowing down next action steps, I feel anything but powerful or motivated.

My already compromised mind demands rest.

So many things to do… So many outcomes I want. From this standpoint, nothing new.

My one big ahh moment…

From where I am now (mentally & emotionally), I need to start at the easiest, most mentally impactful place – my space.

I’ve gone back & forth on this before. I want to immerse myself in sorting, purging, organizing, streamlining, optimizing… I decide to do it. I start. Then, I feel guilt. Am I procrastinating? Am I making an excuse? Because I can think of a hundred (or more) more important things I can/need/should do.

Right now… I’m not in the best mental space to take important, significant & hugely impactful action without risking making poor decisions & therefore having it backfire on me.

So… I decide to let go of any guilt. Any self recrimination. I give myself permission to do what I can. Whether that means sharpening my pencils. Filing things I’ve been putting off. Reorganizing a bookshelf. Refolding my underwear.

It’s not the overall impact of each individual action that’s significant. It’s the effect on my mind. Because if lining up my extra toilet paper rolls… Or, carefully & evenly spacing out my coat hangers calms or soothes my mind…

Then, at the moment… It’s well worth my time.




christie on Twitter
Learning obsessed. Growth focused. Wisdom seeking. Recovering perfectionist. In eternal struggle to tame obsessive compulsive tendencies.

Also blogging about self care at xtremeselfcare.com

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