I haven’t written in days. (Days that feel like weeks.)
I haven’t felt well. Literally, on a day to day basis due to:
1. A migraine headache
2. Severe allergic reaction to an insect bite
3. My monthly allergy shots
Still… I could have written. I could have forced myself to… Just like I force myself to do any number of things – like eat kale, load the dishwasher, work on my to-do list…
I didn’t because that’s where I feel I’ve gone wrong too often in the past. Making myself do something often consistently (usually something I consider “good,” “healthy,” “necessary” or a “should”) until it becomes a habit.
Yet lately I’ve come to believe all habits not rooted in love (for yourself, another or something) or joy to be bad thing.
That it’s not so much what I do – as how I do it that really counts.
And, if I’m not fully connected or present with myself, you or the activity… I’m doing more harm than good to myself.
So, now my goal is to do everything with a love, joy, connection or presence radiating out from within.
I’m going to experiment with not doing anything (even if I need to) unless I feel moved (by a positive emotion) to act.
I can think of countless ways this experiment could go wrong. (Thank goodness all my bills are on Autopay!)
The point… Not to avoid doing things.
But, to find a desire within me. And… Take action from that place.
To stop living habitually.
To see what daily life could become if I use only positive emotions to spur me on.