I’ve been scared I was falling back into a trap from which I’d finally been freed.
I tied myself in knots. Beating myself up. Thinking I was weak. That my actions proved I’d learned nothing. Until I realized a truth which I hide…
I’d never fall back into the same thing because I’m not the same – even if outwardly it might appear as if little has changed.
There was something I needed do before I’d allow myself to be free.
I needed to express a truth locked deep within me.
For years it hide. Safely tucked away. Recently, I’ve tried finding it. Hidden it preferred to stay.
Words evaded me. My thoughts tied in knots. Until this morning when clarity graced me. I found the truth that had been long lost.
Once expressed, something within me broke free. In this situation, there was nothing else left for me.
For years my silence or reticence kept me chained. To disengage myself, I only had to find what needed to be said (either to him or myself).
Now… I feel lighter. Not necessarily better. But change (even good change) takes time to integrate.
I’ve untangled one of the many webs that kept me bound. As long as I continue to move forward… Continue to disengage & untie myself from other sticky, unhealthy, outlived situations, people, activities & thoughts,
Freedom will be found.